Gijinka World

Incarnate a Pokemon Gijinka as you discover the lands of Airia
 
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 mark scyther fortan

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zander scyther fortan

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Join date : 2012-03-16

PostSubject: mark scyther fortan   Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:18 pm

name: mark scyther fortan

specie: scyther

gender: male

age: 15

appearance:

personality: calm and very sly loves to spy on people is usually the most witty of the group and always thinks things through (a lot) and doesn't talk much if you hear him speak you are blessed he uses telepathy to communicate with others

job: explorer/spy for military

weapons: two hand-held scythes

move set:
vacum wave, quick attack and pursuit

ability: swarm

additional ability:razor edge does increased damage with physical attacks

stats:
hp: 72

attack: 110

defense: 81

sp attack: 56

ps defense: 80

speed: 105

story: before moving to airia he lived in johto residing in the trees. he was taking a nap when a piece of paper hit him in the face, he would of torn it up but he read what was on it and his eyes grew big with excitement, the paper was a flyer saying "for young trainers come visit the mystical region of airia bring ne of your most favored pokemon you wont regret it" zander looked up he saw the boat leaveing the harbor, he had to hurry if he was going to make it he flew as fast as he could carrying his scythes on his back. he landed on the boats main deck and sat down on a bench he wondered if anyone had seen him being a human infused with a pokemon would of been hard to miss he walked around the ships upper decks and walked down to the lower decks he looked around then he saw group of people looking like they where infused with pokemon too, he walked over and said hi but he saw they where nothing more then cosplayers he learned this when the commented on the quality of he costume after this he walked away seen that they might of hurt the zanders feelings the head of the group walked over to him and they started talking. when the subject where did your costume get made was brought up, zander blushed a little and turned away, when the person running the group asked what the problem was he simply turned to her and said " do you know about the pokemon human splice test?" he asked "yea i know about it" said the cosplay leader. zander walked over to the rail and sighed, he said in a low sad voice " i was one of the participants in that test i was infused with a scyther they worked and worked and soon i fell asleep when i awoke my flesh was bonded with a hard shell shaped like a scythers body i wasnt sure what they did with the scyther that the spliced me with", he shuddered at the thought. the cosplay leader looked at the water and back up. "i was a participant in that too" she glanced at zanders shocked face and continued "i was infused with a skitty" she said zander said " i thought i felt something different about you"
the two became best of friends, and they went there separate ways once they reached airia the adventure of his lifetime was about to start.....

i have read the rules all of them
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Suida Quaria
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Posts : 239
Join date : 2012-01-22
Age : 25

Character sheet
Specie: Dragonair
Level: 5

PostSubject: Re: mark scyther fortan   Fri Mar 16, 2012 11:43 pm

Welcome! As said on the Chatbox, there are many things left to fix. Here's a complete list:

1. I do not have the confirmation that you have read the rules. You'll see what I mean once you've read them correctly.

2. Punctuation still isn't good. A sentence shouldn't normally be longer than 2 lines. Also, by adding dots, that also includes adding Capitals at the beginning of sentences (and names as well). You're going to have to work on this for your other posts as well.

3. Appearance isn't good. I want a description, not a picture.

4. Your story isn't good either. There is no Human here, only Gijinkas and Pokemons.

5. You didn't understand the stats. You simply place a bonus and mallus on whichever stats you want to. I make the calculations.

6. You can have 4 moves at the beginning. Why you decided to have only 3, I have no idea....

7. Your additionnal ability isn't good. You basically just say your scythes are stronger, which isn't really an ability by itself. An example of additionnal ability for Scyther is: You leave a blur when you move fast.

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